The Importance of Connection

I was listening to Armchair Expert a few days ago  (Thank you Sarah Cook for recommending this podcast). The guest on the show was Gabor Mate'- a physician and author with a lifelong interest in how trauma affects our physical health. In the course of this interview, he relayed a joke which I will do my best not to butcher:

There are two fish swimming along, enjoying a conversation, when an elder fish goes by. He asks them "Hey guys! How's the water today?" The two younger fish look at each other perplexed. "What water?" they reply. 

We humans are much like the younger fish. SO incredibly adapted to the stressors inherent in our current lifestyle that they have become invisible to us. We labor day in and day out- overworked, overstimulated, overfed (but undernourished), overwhelmed and exhausted and most of us accept these circumstances as normal.

In his book The Myth of Normal Mate' vehemently interrupts the acceptance of this version of normal, and poses the question: What would it be like if our expectation was to feel safe, rested and connected to our own bodies and to the people around us?

I have been asking myself this question for quite some time, perhaps more so in the past few weeks amidst the massive breadth of violence we have been witnessing in the news. If I ponder what it might take to bridge this from a question we are asking to a life we are living, I think we have to start with acknowledging that just because this HAS been our "norm" doesn't mean it SHOULD be the norm. Which means we have to seek practices that help us first, recognize that we are drowning in plain sight, and we can explore practices to get our heads up to the  surface. We need to buoy ourselves up, so that we can in turn bring others to the surface, without getting dragged back under.

What might these practices look like? I want thank yet another wise and gifted teacher, who I've been blessed to learn from remotely. In her most recent offering on "The Class" , Natalie Kuhn brought a host of somatic practices that move us away from reacting and holding. They allow us to soften our cells and sense what is real and present in the moment. I urge you to go take this offering if you can. Here are the simple actions she blended into the offering. You can try them at home to wake up to yourself again:

*Sway
*Hum
*Sigh
*Shake
*Tap or rub your body with your hands
*Yawn
*Dance
*Move an a freeform unsculpted way
*Deep intentional belly breathing
*Stillness and attention.

I will add to this list what I think is more important than anything. CONNECTION. Connection to self and connection to community. Allowing yourself to be in community with people who are seeking the same tools, who are seeking ways to be vulnerable in a world that goads us to react and close up.

At Soulage, every teacher brings the practices that have helped them find self-regulation and presence into their own lives. And they share it from a place of love and open-heartedness  rather than from a place of rigidity and hierarchy. 

I know all too well the stories we can tell ourselves that keep us away; that we are too busy and tired. It's so easy to excuse ourselves from showing up for ourselves, but these are the times we need to show up the most. Come to class this week, next week, and every week after. We can breathe, move, grieve and connect in community. Let our commitment to remembering our birthright of feeling at home in our own bodies be a calling for others to do the same.